Cosette and other random farmhouse thoughts......

For the past several weeks, I stopped writing about our life here in North Dakota. It is a wonderful thing to look at my blog again today. It is April 8th, 2013 and it is accumulating snow and freezing rain is falling. I cannot believe it. We were blessed with a few days last week of 40 weather which began the slow melt of the layers of white that had become a permanent part of our landscape since October. This morning, the sky has opened up again to remind us that Old Man Winter is not yet having his fun :-).

As I opened this page today, it felt like coming home to my thoughts, prayers and presence. I didn't realize how much just journeying through words was actually leading me through this season. I didn't realize how much this practical exercise of my heart and soul was my place of stillness and wisdom building. With all transparency, when I should have been writing more, I stopped because I was overcome with the feelings and entropy that a long cold winter can do, plus a dramatic move to a new place.

God meets me here.

Many people say when they are in nature and the beauty of creation, they never feel closer to Him. Others it's when they are serving another or in community with fellow followers of Christ, which I can relate with as well. But I've found in this season when the quietness is easily found and distractions are few, times of putting myself open raw and real before God and then on "paper", I grow and connect with the Divine and thus my own soul.

At the time when these moments at my kitchen table would have helped me maneuver through this season, I stopped coming to the table.

So today, Digging Dakota, it is good to see you again :-))))

The blog below is one I began but did not finish a few weeks ago.


(Originally written February 22, 2013, in the wee hours of a dark and cold morning outside)

We are almost 4 months into our new adventure here in rural North Dakota and I think I am just now catching my breath. We have squeezed into our tiny home and learned to bundle ourselves up in the sub zero cold. We have gotten accustomed to long car drives and shopping for weeks at a time. And the weather reports take on new meaning from the uneventful news of Las Vegas weather. :-)

 

This past week, Cole and I got hit hard with the stomach flu, along with 4 other kids from his class. While Cole seemed to bounce back quickly after getting some rest and ridding himself of everything inside of him, I however didn't fare as well. After a night of feeling horrible and truly losing my breakfast, lunch and dinner, I couldn't move and I was taken in to the emergency room to get rehydrated. Matt took over in his usual "come to my rescue" kind of way and got the kids ready for school. As I was severly dehydrated, I don't remember much about the first responders bringing me out to the ambulance except one faded image I'll always remember. I could see dimly Cosette in the hallway in tears asking, "Mom, are you ok?" "Is mom going to be OK?....." I reached for her hand and told her everything was fine and mommy just needs some help to get better. Oh, my heart.

Cosette has been created and imprinted with this tenderness that is so rare these days. She loves her dolls, animals and plenty of time alone in her imagination. So often in her little life I have felt like I was always holding a china doll. Afraid she will break if tugged at too much. Yet, she has this strong and dare I say stubborn part of herself that let's you know there is so much more beneath the surface. Cosette walks through this life at her own pace and you cannot push her, although so many times I've wanted to. I've wanted to push her to move a little quicker, get ready a little faster. Break through her fears with a little more courage. But just when I feel like I'm going to worry about her forever, which I probably will, she comes to the surface with this unexplicable boldness and strength.

We were having another painfully slow homework session not because of her inability to do the work but because she frankly wanted to do something, anything else. :-) This week she was supposed to write what her teacher called a "fractured fairytale". She was supposed to take a traditional fairy tale and put her own twist on it. Make it modern. Change the characters up a bit. Make it her own. As I was misreading her slowness in getting started as a lack of idea of how to get started, she was then actually processing through an idea. All her own. Not knowing this, I mistakenly began giving her some ideas to put down on paper and as she waiting for me to finish and in her strength told me to listen, she told me about "Little Red Writing Reporter". It was a fractured fairy tale about a modern day Little Red who was a reporter and goes to New York to see her great aunt and also to write about something great that happens to her. When she finished and turned it in, her story was one of the top three stories in the class.

I love how this girl of mine surprises me at every turn. God has me at a place of watching and waiting with her. To take a seat in the front row as one of her greatest fans and let the revealing of her wonderful self come to light. My daughter, Cosette whose name was given to her with great intentionality from my favorite story of all time, is a girl to be loved, a life to be celebrated and a story to unfold.

This day, I am so thankful she is mine.

Headlamps, Night lights and Jesus

We've been acutely aware of light, and the absence of it lately. In this new country we've found ourselves as a family, it can be and stay pretty dark. We are just about 60 miles south of the Canadian border and with that brings a later sunrise after the winter solstice, around 8:30 a.m. It also brings a much earlier sunset somewhere around 4:15 p.m.. We live in farmland, North Dakota with only a few street lights lit up around us after nightfall. We experience darkness in new ways here.

When we first arrived, the kids' rooms had nightlights in them leftover from the previous owner. I was glad because it made those rooms a little easier to settle into for the kids. Something about the glow of that little oval shaped light bulb made it easier to rest and go to sleep in peace. Each night after prayers and the endless tucking in of blankets, I am again asked to leave the hall light on.

This past Christmas, each of my kids were given headlamps to use and play with from my in laws. I'm pretty sure they were my father in law's idea as he is always finding those fun gifts I would not have thought of.  I cannot tell you what a big hit they were! Overnight, we had found ourselves with three new miners in the house :-).

There's just something about light.

Today in the beginning of the new year, I picked up my Bible after the kids took off for school. I have been off a regular reading plan of my own for a while now. I have journaled and read and been in study and sat under teaching, but my personal, one on one reading had been lacking. That's another reason why we love New Years as it recalibrates our habits that have gotten off. I didn't have a real decisive place to begin but I am always drawn to the Gospels to look at Jesus again. He tells us that if we have seen the Son, we have seen the Father. I admit in my faith life I have often gotten God so wrong. I have often seen Him smaller, grumpier, more judgemental, angrier and more disappointed in me than Scripture ever reveals. It has been a struggle of mine and so often I am resistant to open the word in case I will find that judging God. But in my lack of personal study I have also been deprived of the true God. And I have desperately needed that. More on that later :-)

I opened to the Gospel of John because I love John. It was the first book of the Bible I ever read as a youth on my own. I also love how John refers to himself as the "disciple that Jesus loved". I think that takes incredible security and confidence to boldly acknowledge and  the truth and proclaim, I am the one Jesus loves. And it made me think God would greatly delight in that confidence in us today that we would wear in our hearts and minds that proclamation. I am the one Jesus loves.

But back to the book of John. I began reading and my first feeling was guilt for not having been reading more lately and many times I would have shut the book because of that, yet something or Someone, I believe urged me on. Stay Mary. You are new. Yesterday is past. I love you. I do not love you so that you would feel guilty. Stay here with Me....

 

So I read the familiar words....

 

"In the beginning...."

"The Word was God"

"In Him was life and this life was the light of men."

 

And here's where I stopped. 

 

Side note: Often we try and tackle Bible reading like a novel. We want to get through the story but Scripture isn't like that. It itself reminds us that the word of God is "active and living, sharper than any two edged sword, piercing as far as division of sword and spirit...." What that means to me is when I read, I am not reading a book of the past. A passive group of words. The Bible is alive and able to penetrate my heart and life today. Right where I am and give me the word for today from the very Heart of God. It doesn't matter how many times I read those same words, it will always mean and speak to me in a new way. So when I read and I come to a place where I am spoken to, I stop and stay there on that verse. I do not go any further because I believe God has spoken to me that word for this day. And that's all I need. Even if it's only one verse. Even if it takes me a year to read through one book. My desire cannot just be the accomplishment of finishing a book. It must be to hear and know my God.

 

So here's where I stopped.

 

 "And the light shines in the darkness and the darkness did not comprehend it".

 

 I've always read that to mean that the darkness, the world, the things that are not of God just don't comprehend Him.  Don't understand Him. Aren't drawn to the things of God. The darkness is not drawn to Him or to light. Before I've interpreted that in my life to explain why people often don't understand my belief in God or my love for Him. But this morning on closer look, that's not what the verse means.

 

My eyes scanned over to the footnote marking of the literal translation of the word "comprehend". In the original language, it meant "overcome".

 

"And the light shines in the darkness and the darkness did not overcome it."

 

And I stopped. Darkness not overcoming the Light.

 

In this new place we have found ourselves, in all the adventures and stories; In the newness and the excitement, darkness still has found it's way here to my heart. In this new year, I have found myself flooded in tears that are unexplainable. Moments when it is difficult to intrinsically derive joy or enthusiasm the day. I can explain away all the reasons why, but the reality is the darkness is here and I am overcome by it.

 

It is in these times when I long for something Greater than daily habits to raise my spirits. More than a to do list to help me feel better. I need more to keep me getting up and pursuing my day and daily responsibilities. So when I re-read that verse I saw the truth that penetrated to my very soul. "And the Light shines IN the darkness and the darkness did not OVERCOME it." When the very parts of my soul ache and is lonely and discouraged and without joy, Jesus shines in THAT darkness. MY darkness. And He will not be overcome by it, which means as I am His, I will not be overcome by it, though at times can feel like I have been. Maybe I have been, but Jesus hasn't. It is in that moment I am again reminded how my life is in Him and when the world seems the emptiest, He is there. Overcoming the darkness that I cannot. I think we all have a place of darkness we want Jesus to overcome. Even on that darkest of afternoons on Calvary, the dark did not overcome the Light. He knows darkness. So He can enter into mine with me. And it has NOT overcome Him. For this reason I cling and I have hope.

 

As I write about our  journey to this new place, I have found many things that I have loved and embraced. But also another part of this journey that I have just found is that God is doing a new thing in me. Things I have not anticipated. Things that I did not expect. I am learning to find HIM enough and new. I am thankful for the grace to do that today. 

O Come Let Us Adore Him.....

It wasn't our best Sunday ever. In fact, it started out pretty crappy.

 

I don't really know all the reasons why I was in the low state, but there I was. We showed up at church late and tired. It took us a little while to get everyone ready in our current state of one bathroom and I only had time to throw my hair up in a loose pony tail and put on some jeans. I'm not one who likes being late anywhere but today I was just glad we made it. There have been other busy Sundays in our family when we chose to stay home instead of connecting with church and I've always regretted it. So this morning I wanted to go and no matter how and when we get there, I hoped it would make a difference.

 

Fortunately we found a parking spot right out front and as we rushed in, we could hear the voices inside singing "Go Tell It On the Mountain".  I smiled as I thought about this country church we had just connected with. I remember that song growing up and it brought good memories back. I walked up the stairs to the sanctuary feeling a little off but we were blessed by a friend who warmly greeted us at the door. We sat in the back pew and tried to shift gears quickly from our rush of the morning to the worship that was beginning. This was a morning where I would be in huge receiving mode. I just wanted to drink in the service and prayed for a change of heart from the tired and low mood I was experiencing. Christmas was harder than I anticipated this year. We had made our move and overall I've been amazed and proud of our little family how we have flowed with all the change. But this would be our first Christmas far from any family and Christmas was always a big deal at our house. The recent tragic loss of life and fears we as a nation have journeyed through also made me feel far from so much of the familial.

So there I was... doing my best to lead out in our family the joy of the season and found myself not doing a great job. Our friend who leads worship then began leading the church in "O Come All Ye Faithful". As I was mentally and emotionally trying to shift gears, we came to the chorus, "O come let us adore Him."

O come. Come. Adore Him. ADORE Him. Him. Jesus.

I grabbed my kids' hands with one hand and put my other arm over Cosette's shoulder. Time stopped as I stayed with that chorus in my heart.

O come let us adore Him.

I imagined the little baby in the manger. The reason we sing. Why we gather and give this season. Why the world changes its tune from Thanksgiving to December 25th. I am one of the reasons why He came. This morning I was painfully aware of all that I wasn't. I was acutely in tune with my weakness and struggle. Sadness and loss. Sin and brokenness. This little baby we were singing about came for all of it. For all of us. For the places in all of us that feels there has to be more. For the grief and regrets.  For this crazy, irrational, unjust world that is capable of great evil. He came.

"O come let us adore Him", the song beckons.

I felt my heart breaking and softening again because of that great truth. And I was thankful.

We have a lot of fun things planned to live these next couple of days with joy. But today I am grateful that I was seized again by the baby in the manger. Seized by the Love that sent Him. Grateful for grace and do-overs.

I wish I could write that the rest of the day was stress free and perfect but it wasn't. But that's not the point I got that morning from the Spirit of Love. This morning, God by His love met me in MY reality which changed because of THE reality that Love has come.

For unto us a Child is born.
A Son is given.
And He shall be called,
Wonderful.
Counselor.
The Mighty God.
The Everlasting Father.

The Prince of Peace.

It is for this reason I wish the world "Merry Christmas".

 

A Time for Mourning....

The sun rose again this morning. Here in rural Ryder, ND, the frost is covering everything leaving behind this white, feathery beauty admist the sunny ice blue sky.

 

The sun rose again yet the world has changed... again.

 

This afternoon we are attending the funeral of a previous co-worker of Matt's who took his life late Monday evening. He is leaving behind his wife and 2 of his kids are classmates of my children.

 

Yesterday morning the entire country went sent into shock and grief and was left speechless by the senseless slaying of 27 innocent people including 20 children. Children. I can barely write the words without my stomach turning in response to the reality.

 

Tuesday and Wednesday of this past week my kids' school was put into lock down because five juvenile detainees had assaulted a correctional officer and escaped from Bismark to somewhere in ND, later found in Fargo and Minot.

 

This all after the shooting in the Oregon mall as people were just out trying to make the most of the Christmas season.

 

And this morning I heard of a shooting at the Excalibur in Las Vegas, not 15 minutes from where we used to live as a man shot a concierge and then took his life.

 

I am a mix of emotions and responses today. I am weary of the pain and evil that has surrounded all of us. I am angry by the senseless of it all. I am deeply deeply sad. I am disgusted by the way that some are taking all of this for a platform for their own agenda gain thus clouding the opportunity for REAL discussion for REAL change for the good of this society. I am depressed by it all.

 

Yet I must get up and live today. I listened to as much as I could of the unfolding new reports out of Newtown, CT. Then the kids woke and we turned the TV to a rerun of Miracle on 34th Street. We have not yet told them about the shooting and to be honest, not sure if we will. Some may disagree but do I put a thought into their minds that isn't there right now and put an inkling of fear about going to school? I just don't think I do right now.

 

So we made breakfast together and enjoyed a lazy Saturday morning together as I held my feelings in check.

 

For so many, like my friend who is now preparing to go to her husband's funeral and 27 homes in Connecticut who woke up without a precious child or loved one there anymore today, the world has changed. Turned upside down and inside out without explanation or sense.

 

Tomorrow we must move from this place and find our next steps as communities and as a nation. Tomorrow we must respond to this mess with wisdom and action and good. Tomorrow we must go on.

 

Today we mourn.

 

One Month Later.....

I wrote this right before Thanksgiving......:-)

Weather report - Sunny with highs in the mid 40's. Mild weather throughout the Thanksgiving weekend. :-)

It's been just over a month since we jumped into our overpacked U-Haul and Yukon and headed north to our new home in Ryder, ND. As I sit here looking east throughout our living room plate glass window, I have a strange mixture of emotions and thoughts. Mostly, I have a sense of rest. I cannot believe it's only been a month since we have been there. And I cannot believe how much we have adapted and embraced our new community. More than a year ago, Matt brought us here to show us his work and we camped at the lake. I knew there was a possibility we may come and at the time it was unthinkable to me. Amazing to me what a year and a half can do in the heart and soul.

 

I've spent my life in church. First, a liturgical church in my childhood where I first learned about God, then a church plant turned mega church where I came to faith and was blessed with an incredible foundation, community and passion for the church, then moved to work at an urban transitioned church in the nation's most rapidly growing city and then a deep worshipful bible teaching church. Now God has led us to a church whose membership is more than the population of our town, filled with warm faithful families and led by a passionate couple led to North Dakota by faith. And all I can say is that it feels right for us right now.

 

Each day, a little bit more feels right and I am thankful, but strangely enough I am also fearful. I am fearful that I am changing as I don't recognize much of my old life. I am fearful that even as I enjoy the quiet of this new community, I am away in obscurity. The pace of my heart has slowed to a more balanced, kinder way and although I am thankful, I worry if I am escaping from the real demands and pressures of this world. It's very hard to explain and I haven't fully dissected it but those are the impressions of my heart right now.

 

I've committed myself to my kids' world to help them get settled and at peace about this new place we've been led to and I sit amazed at how they have gotten excited about bus rides and night searches for wild bunnies. Friendships have formed quickly. They have gone from a place of constant sunny skies and the coolest temps would run around 50 degrees to a place of snow, wind chills and long underwear and they have not skipped a beat. I'll be keeping my eyes and heart on them as these rapid changes may reveal themselves in other ways, but I'm proud of them and love them deeper and deeper each day.

So that's where we sit one month later.

Together.
Adjusting.
Welcomed.
Home.
 

 

Lessons Learned (and learning)

(Began this post on the 16th)

Weather Report - Partly Cloudy, High of 68, 20% chance of rain. (I've come to learn that most days there is a 20% chance of rain :-)

Some things I have learned in this remote place we have come to call home. Some things have been pressed upon me and some things I have stumbled across.

The sun rises around 7:45 a.m. here....
Almost an hour later than in Nevada where we just came. The kids', or I should say my girls have begun school. Cole has stomach flu just in time to not begin school so he's home with me in the quiet. I wake the girls up by 6:30 which gives us just enough time to get dressed, wash and brush hair and teeth and put something hearty in their tummies for breakfast. I've never been a morning person so I didn't like getting them up that early in the dark, but they have risen with an energy and day embracing attitude I haven't seen before. Prayerfully it will last :-)

The sun sets around 8 p.m. Still....
Even this late into Autumn. I welcome the longer days as it seems to slow the pace.

Do not go anywhere without your car charger for your phone....
Yesterday we had to make a run into Minot because of Cole's nonstop vomiting. Run is a loose word as it is 45 minutes into "town", as we call it, along two lane road through acres and acres of farmland. I only had about 1/2 of battery service left and we didn't know how long we would be. This lesson will be very necessary when the weather turns bad. (Or I will just choose to stay home :-)

Always have your gas tank filled at least 1/2 to full....
Gas stations are miles apart and there is not much recourse if you run out.

Planning is necessary....
No longer can you think just a day at a time for life's necessities. Trips into the little next town grocery are long so don't waste time and monies by not planning ahead. Truly make a list and prepare.

Slippers are wonderful. Enough said :-)....

Clothing choices are based on warmth and comfort first, style second :-)....

Mail is wonderful to send and receive....

Kids are strong, when foundations are laid well....
I do not take credit for being the only contribution to my kids' grounding. Extended family and friends. Church and school have invested well. And God has them deeper and more surely than I have prayed for. I can see the fruit of all of it now as we have moved them far away from all that they are comfortable with. They have embraced our little farmhouse choosing to find joy in the little cubbies that lead to the attic instead of seeing the dated carpet. They have already explored the nearby farm fields and rode their quads freely instead of focusing on our little TV in the family room. They have smiled and made friends at a school that only sees new kids once a year or so. They have shown a courage and joy I have hoped for.

People are vital and essential....
I've always known this but I have been tempted at low times in my life to withdraw. To not be present. But people and relationships are supreme. Not just in this rural place but whereever life leads us all. In storms, both figurative and literal, community is our survival. Laughter and love given freely. Kindnesses of an invitation to dinner or Halloween party. Picking up an item at the store or a smile on the street. Conversations that flow freely without pretense or competition. With the reality that communities can be miles apart from one another, the truth that we are reliant and dependent upon one another has become glaringly apparant and not to be dismissed.

Long car rides are good....
Living miles from school and town leaves us a lot of time in the car. Remember road trips as a kid? What did we do? We talked and played games and told stories. These are everyday moments now as we travel the long country roads to our destination. Yes, the kids get antsy at times and arguments over where someone's feet can be do occur. But we look out the window and look for pheasant or old farm houses we challenge Matt to restore. We tell stories of school happenings. Matt and I get to talk. Really talk, like when we were dating. In the distance and lack of traffic, we all are confined together relating and listening. And it is good.

Welcome the quiet....
The quiet is rich and heavy here. At another season of my life I may have found it boring or unstimulating. But quietness whether we create it or it is all around us is purposeful and necessary. We live on the edge of town and so our backyard faces the miles of farmland behind us. Very little traffic flows through here except for the school bus or the mailman who drives a small station wagon with yellow caution lights on top, Very little noise except for the elements outside or Molly, our yellow lab, barking to come inside to say she's had enough of the wind. Admist this quiet, my heart is resting. The necessary soul processes are finding room and time to sort and settle. I am finding I was not that great at daily creating this quiet place in my life in all the places I've lived. I have allowed demands and my own tendency to ignore vital callings of my soul in place of busyness and false sense of purpose to squeeze it out. Now I am here and quiet is forced upon me and I have welcomed it. I believe that God has lead me to the quiet. More on this later but I have come to embrace and see no matter where we live, this is necessary and good.


These are just the beginnings of my lessons learned from this first week in Ryder. I want to commit to this journey to see the depth and meaning and mostly the very Hand of God in our lives. That is my prayer. To have the eyes and time to drink deeply of His moving and presence.

In this most unexpected place, I want to find Him in ways I couldn't or didn't before.

I'm learning :-)

381 Corona Street

We rolled into little Ryder, North Dakota which sits in the center of miles and miles of farmland. It's fall right now so the trees are bare from losing all their leaves and it was cloudy as we drove in almost at sunset. It has a mixture of farm houses and mobile homes on little plots of land. Off to the side, I caught the glimpse of some kind of business which we will check out tomorrow. A young adolescent wrapped in a black hoodie waved to us as we drove in. You don't see that a whole lot. :-)

I saw the U-Haul turn into this grassy yard and I immediately recognized the large pines on the side of the farm house I've only seen in pictures for over 7 months now. We are home. Home for right now. Home for a few years. Home.

I parked and Cole and Corinne already wrapped from head to toe in new winter clothes we bought in Wyoming, ran with the house keys in their hands and went inside. Cosette and I looked at each other and laughed and some tears fell and we laughed as Matt came to our window. He's been here for over 2 months now, renovating, moving walls and staircases around. He's already made the transition. Home  to him hasn't been our house in Henderson for over a year as he has spent significantly more time in North Dakota than Nevada. But for us, this is new.

As we got out, Cosette shuffled through the dried fallen leaves with her crutches and walking boot and I followed behind her to the back door which leads into the kitchen. Newly nailed drywall was seen everywhere. Matt's been working. He showed me how he removed a wall and opened up the kitchen which is now more than twice it's original size. Dated decorations lined the upper edge of the wall paper and green appliances reminded us of the age of our home. It was built in 1917 and the previous owner had lived there since 1959. I'm sure my decor from our previous home shows resemblances of the late '90's as well. :-)

Matt showed us around and it is bigger than I imagine. We had our living room furniture already in place which was a nice view of our previous home. A reminder that not everything is so new. As Matt proudly toured us around, I had a flood of thoughts and emotions. Many I had to keep in check because I was acutely aware that my kids were watching me and my responses and how I responded to everything would deeply affect how they received everything as well. Cole and Corinne began their scavenger hunt around the house and delighted in the steep narrow stairs which they hope to turn into a slide someday. They braved the basement downstairs and felt the cool chill only basements in the Midwest can produce. They went out side and threw dried leaves around and some at each other having a ball and I was thankful.

Cosette hobbled around and we showed her her new room which has a little cubby that leads into a section of the attic. It is quaint and cozy.

 

We spent the next several hours moving boxes into any space that would hold them. Matt's employees came by to help unload. One of them, Tony has lived his entire life in Ryder and through his gregarious personality, he welcomed us and did his best to make us feel at ease. Tony looks like most of the men here. Baseball cap and sweatshirt. Jeans and work boots. But his friendly and I-feel-like-I've-known-you-all-my-life demeanor draws you to him immediately.

 

As we talked, he asked me if we go to church. This was not a question I would have assumed he would ask. I told him yes and we are visiting a few in the next few weeks. I asked him if he was connected anywhere and he said, "No, but I'm very open. I'm very open." We talked about where we are visiting and hoped his family would join us. That short little conversation seemed to remind me that bigger things are going on besides new homes and new jobs. We'll see where God takes us with some new friends.

 

At night, we snuggled Cole and Corinne in their room with mattresses on the floor and about 15 blankets on top of them. Matt came up for hugs and kisses good night which he has not been able to do nightly for almost 1 1/2 years. His presence and love infuse a confidence in the kids that is undeniable. I am thankful. He went into Cosette's room and did the same. When he left, Cosette teared up softly and said, "I don't know this room. I don't have any memories here." We laid together and cried a little and talked about that reality and that together we are going to make some more. That God had this  and for however long He has us here, that she will never be alone. I laid there with her until she fell asleep and carefully made the trip down the steep narrow stairs lit up only by nightlights.

 

My heart grew heavy for her and I prayed that God would do only what He can do in her heart. That she would take this adventure with us, remembering we are together and God is near. Cosette has always needed to come to things in her own time. You could never rush her but when she was ready, she would take on the world. I love that 10 year old with a love that surpasses understanding.

 

As I climbed into bed in our new room snuggled under layers of blankets, Matt laughed at me and gave me a hug. I smiled as I thought of how Cole and Corinne embraced this new tiny little home with interesting facets and their joy comforted me.

 

So we are here. For now. For who knows how long. My carpets are brown-orange. My appliances are avocado. My living room walls have brown panelling I haven't seen since my childhood home. These things I can live with. Us being apart for that long was something I couldn't. So we are here. Open and ready to see what God blesses with.

 

Feel free to write or visit although we are in air mattress mode for any visitors :-). But praying that Love reigns and Laughter fills and Grace flows. That is my prayer for 381 Corona Street, Ryder, ND 58779.