Lessons Learned (and learning)

(Began this post on the 16th)

Weather Report - Partly Cloudy, High of 68, 20% chance of rain. (I've come to learn that most days there is a 20% chance of rain :-)

Some things I have learned in this remote place we have come to call home. Some things have been pressed upon me and some things I have stumbled across.

The sun rises around 7:45 a.m. here....
Almost an hour later than in Nevada where we just came. The kids', or I should say my girls have begun school. Cole has stomach flu just in time to not begin school so he's home with me in the quiet. I wake the girls up by 6:30 which gives us just enough time to get dressed, wash and brush hair and teeth and put something hearty in their tummies for breakfast. I've never been a morning person so I didn't like getting them up that early in the dark, but they have risen with an energy and day embracing attitude I haven't seen before. Prayerfully it will last :-)

The sun sets around 8 p.m. Still....
Even this late into Autumn. I welcome the longer days as it seems to slow the pace.

Do not go anywhere without your car charger for your phone....
Yesterday we had to make a run into Minot because of Cole's nonstop vomiting. Run is a loose word as it is 45 minutes into "town", as we call it, along two lane road through acres and acres of farmland. I only had about 1/2 of battery service left and we didn't know how long we would be. This lesson will be very necessary when the weather turns bad. (Or I will just choose to stay home :-)

Always have your gas tank filled at least 1/2 to full....
Gas stations are miles apart and there is not much recourse if you run out.

Planning is necessary....
No longer can you think just a day at a time for life's necessities. Trips into the little next town grocery are long so don't waste time and monies by not planning ahead. Truly make a list and prepare.

Slippers are wonderful. Enough said :-)....

Clothing choices are based on warmth and comfort first, style second :-)....

Mail is wonderful to send and receive....

Kids are strong, when foundations are laid well....
I do not take credit for being the only contribution to my kids' grounding. Extended family and friends. Church and school have invested well. And God has them deeper and more surely than I have prayed for. I can see the fruit of all of it now as we have moved them far away from all that they are comfortable with. They have embraced our little farmhouse choosing to find joy in the little cubbies that lead to the attic instead of seeing the dated carpet. They have already explored the nearby farm fields and rode their quads freely instead of focusing on our little TV in the family room. They have smiled and made friends at a school that only sees new kids once a year or so. They have shown a courage and joy I have hoped for.

People are vital and essential....
I've always known this but I have been tempted at low times in my life to withdraw. To not be present. But people and relationships are supreme. Not just in this rural place but whereever life leads us all. In storms, both figurative and literal, community is our survival. Laughter and love given freely. Kindnesses of an invitation to dinner or Halloween party. Picking up an item at the store or a smile on the street. Conversations that flow freely without pretense or competition. With the reality that communities can be miles apart from one another, the truth that we are reliant and dependent upon one another has become glaringly apparant and not to be dismissed.

Long car rides are good....
Living miles from school and town leaves us a lot of time in the car. Remember road trips as a kid? What did we do? We talked and played games and told stories. These are everyday moments now as we travel the long country roads to our destination. Yes, the kids get antsy at times and arguments over where someone's feet can be do occur. But we look out the window and look for pheasant or old farm houses we challenge Matt to restore. We tell stories of school happenings. Matt and I get to talk. Really talk, like when we were dating. In the distance and lack of traffic, we all are confined together relating and listening. And it is good.

Welcome the quiet....
The quiet is rich and heavy here. At another season of my life I may have found it boring or unstimulating. But quietness whether we create it or it is all around us is purposeful and necessary. We live on the edge of town and so our backyard faces the miles of farmland behind us. Very little traffic flows through here except for the school bus or the mailman who drives a small station wagon with yellow caution lights on top, Very little noise except for the elements outside or Molly, our yellow lab, barking to come inside to say she's had enough of the wind. Admist this quiet, my heart is resting. The necessary soul processes are finding room and time to sort and settle. I am finding I was not that great at daily creating this quiet place in my life in all the places I've lived. I have allowed demands and my own tendency to ignore vital callings of my soul in place of busyness and false sense of purpose to squeeze it out. Now I am here and quiet is forced upon me and I have welcomed it. I believe that God has lead me to the quiet. More on this later but I have come to embrace and see no matter where we live, this is necessary and good.


These are just the beginnings of my lessons learned from this first week in Ryder. I want to commit to this journey to see the depth and meaning and mostly the very Hand of God in our lives. That is my prayer. To have the eyes and time to drink deeply of His moving and presence.

In this most unexpected place, I want to find Him in ways I couldn't or didn't before.

I'm learning :-)

381 Corona Street

We rolled into little Ryder, North Dakota which sits in the center of miles and miles of farmland. It's fall right now so the trees are bare from losing all their leaves and it was cloudy as we drove in almost at sunset. It has a mixture of farm houses and mobile homes on little plots of land. Off to the side, I caught the glimpse of some kind of business which we will check out tomorrow. A young adolescent wrapped in a black hoodie waved to us as we drove in. You don't see that a whole lot. :-)

I saw the U-Haul turn into this grassy yard and I immediately recognized the large pines on the side of the farm house I've only seen in pictures for over 7 months now. We are home. Home for right now. Home for a few years. Home.

I parked and Cole and Corinne already wrapped from head to toe in new winter clothes we bought in Wyoming, ran with the house keys in their hands and went inside. Cosette and I looked at each other and laughed and some tears fell and we laughed as Matt came to our window. He's been here for over 2 months now, renovating, moving walls and staircases around. He's already made the transition. Home  to him hasn't been our house in Henderson for over a year as he has spent significantly more time in North Dakota than Nevada. But for us, this is new.

As we got out, Cosette shuffled through the dried fallen leaves with her crutches and walking boot and I followed behind her to the back door which leads into the kitchen. Newly nailed drywall was seen everywhere. Matt's been working. He showed me how he removed a wall and opened up the kitchen which is now more than twice it's original size. Dated decorations lined the upper edge of the wall paper and green appliances reminded us of the age of our home. It was built in 1917 and the previous owner had lived there since 1959. I'm sure my decor from our previous home shows resemblances of the late '90's as well. :-)

Matt showed us around and it is bigger than I imagine. We had our living room furniture already in place which was a nice view of our previous home. A reminder that not everything is so new. As Matt proudly toured us around, I had a flood of thoughts and emotions. Many I had to keep in check because I was acutely aware that my kids were watching me and my responses and how I responded to everything would deeply affect how they received everything as well. Cole and Corinne began their scavenger hunt around the house and delighted in the steep narrow stairs which they hope to turn into a slide someday. They braved the basement downstairs and felt the cool chill only basements in the Midwest can produce. They went out side and threw dried leaves around and some at each other having a ball and I was thankful.

Cosette hobbled around and we showed her her new room which has a little cubby that leads into a section of the attic. It is quaint and cozy.

 

We spent the next several hours moving boxes into any space that would hold them. Matt's employees came by to help unload. One of them, Tony has lived his entire life in Ryder and through his gregarious personality, he welcomed us and did his best to make us feel at ease. Tony looks like most of the men here. Baseball cap and sweatshirt. Jeans and work boots. But his friendly and I-feel-like-I've-known-you-all-my-life demeanor draws you to him immediately.

 

As we talked, he asked me if we go to church. This was not a question I would have assumed he would ask. I told him yes and we are visiting a few in the next few weeks. I asked him if he was connected anywhere and he said, "No, but I'm very open. I'm very open." We talked about where we are visiting and hoped his family would join us. That short little conversation seemed to remind me that bigger things are going on besides new homes and new jobs. We'll see where God takes us with some new friends.

 

At night, we snuggled Cole and Corinne in their room with mattresses on the floor and about 15 blankets on top of them. Matt came up for hugs and kisses good night which he has not been able to do nightly for almost 1 1/2 years. His presence and love infuse a confidence in the kids that is undeniable. I am thankful. He went into Cosette's room and did the same. When he left, Cosette teared up softly and said, "I don't know this room. I don't have any memories here." We laid together and cried a little and talked about that reality and that together we are going to make some more. That God had this  and for however long He has us here, that she will never be alone. I laid there with her until she fell asleep and carefully made the trip down the steep narrow stairs lit up only by nightlights.

 

My heart grew heavy for her and I prayed that God would do only what He can do in her heart. That she would take this adventure with us, remembering we are together and God is near. Cosette has always needed to come to things in her own time. You could never rush her but when she was ready, she would take on the world. I love that 10 year old with a love that surpasses understanding.

 

As I climbed into bed in our new room snuggled under layers of blankets, Matt laughed at me and gave me a hug. I smiled as I thought of how Cole and Corinne embraced this new tiny little home with interesting facets and their joy comforted me.

 

So we are here. For now. For who knows how long. My carpets are brown-orange. My appliances are avocado. My living room walls have brown panelling I haven't seen since my childhood home. These things I can live with. Us being apart for that long was something I couldn't. So we are here. Open and ready to see what God blesses with.

 

Feel free to write or visit although we are in air mattress mode for any visitors :-). But praying that Love reigns and Laughter fills and Grace flows. That is my prayer for 381 Corona Street, Ryder, ND 58779.